I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
