What did we do last night that was yellow?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
