did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
