Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
