Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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