Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
