My pussy is not your playground.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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