it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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