Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
