woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
