Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Don't tell me you're on acid again
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He did a backflip because drugs
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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