M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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