Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
