xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
