Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
