Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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