just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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