I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
