FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
