You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
