My nipple is on Facebook.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
