I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
