I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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