just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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