This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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