Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
