It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
