dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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