if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
