Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
