i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize