Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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