i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
