you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
