who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
