So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
