Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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