Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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