Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
