it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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