why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
