Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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