Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
