Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
