i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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