He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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