i permit you to call me
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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