what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
