lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
