I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
