yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
